It was Christmas Day and I was sitting in my red Hyundai, stopped at a traffic light on Sunset. A black BMW pulled up next to me. I looked over and saw Winona Ryder sitting behind the steering wheel. Her window was open. I waved to her.
[ILLUSTRATION BY DAN WIFFLER]
"Winona, baby, I love you. Let's get lunch."
Winona glanced at me quickly, then looked away.
I leaned out my window. "Listen, Winona, you and I need to do a project together. We need a good vehicle. Something from the heart, you know?"
She turned to me quickly. "Uhh, thanks...no."
I smiled. "Well, listen, I've seen all your work. Great stuff, beautiful stuff. You and I should do a drama together. Something people can relate to."
She ignored me, but I was on a roll. "People are tired of the big action stuff, you know, like Aliens 4, Rocky 5. All that junk. They want something more romantic. Like 'Officer and a Gentle—'"
Winona turned to me sharply. "Hey, I was in Aliens 4."
I paused. I looked at her. "Oh, well, baby...I loved Aliens 4."
The light turned green. Winona's car raced off in a screech of tires.
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